Today I breathed a sigh of relief. Exhaled. Released. Yep, I had been holding onto a little… ok, A LOT of tension. You know, uncertainty is a trip! It’s another one of those tricks of the enemy that creates an atmosphere of self-doubt and I found myself a pawn in his game…AGAIN.
Every now and then, I have these moments where I start doubting…doubting what God has told me to be true. Whether feeling like I’m getting too old to be trying to launch a Gospel music career; whether telling myself that my past is too colorful to actually believe that I could be taken seriously as a Gospel artist; or whether saying to myself, “See! Your CD isn’t even selling that great…no one likes you.” In some way or another, I have continued to mentally sabatoge myself in this regard. I even went through a phase for about a year where I tried to get “a real job” in order to leave music behind. God was not pleased. With two college degrees and a foreign language under my belt, not only did he not allow me to get hired for “a real job”, He chastised me in the process. I must admit, it never feels good to get spanked by Jesus!!!
Every time I doubted, God made it VERY CLEAR where He wanted me to be. It was hard for me to accept b/c in my mind, it’s so much easier to just go to a nine-to-five b/c my money would be guaranteed every two weeks. Him calling me to sing Gospel and to do a ministry-based business meant that I had to be out of my comfort zone, sacrifice a lot more than I wanted to, and maybe not even make the kind of money my degrees told me I should be making. BUT GOD. He continues to make me stop all the whining. He told me to stop trippin’ about what I don’t see and what I don’t understand and what I don’t have and just DO what He said.
So this past weekend, my manager drove myself and my singers Jesus Groupies United, down to Nashville, TN to sing for the taping of a brand new show coming out on the Word Network called VISIONS w/ Bobby Jones! We were so thankful!! We praised God collectively for the opportunity. But still down in me somehow, I was doubtful. There were about 10 artists taping that day and in my mind, they were all better than me. I allowed that doubt to morph into nervousness which made my voice semi-shaky on a few parts of the song. BUT GOD! Even through that, so many people were blessed by our set!! So much so that one of the musicians even invited only me & my singers to minister in song the next morning at his church!! Again, I had to tell myself to RELAX…God is in control. What He has for me is FOR ME!!! All I have to do is believe Him and REST in His promise.
So lastly, this morning the tickets to my upcoming Live-Recording concert were officially SOLD OUT!!!! Here we are almost one full month before the event and it is a full house…a done deal!!! A month ago, I was telling my manager to bring in a big name artist to get us a crowd b/c I didn’t believe that my name alone could draw a crowd. My manager said, “You’re nuts iNDIGO! It’s already done. You’ve got to believe it. You told me God called you to this. I believe that too or wouldn’t be managing you. So, believe it and just let God do Him.” And now look! So with this, literally this morning I cried out to God for forgiveness for my self-doubt. Because in doubting myself, I also doubt Him.
So I just want to encourage someone today b/c I know that just b/c you walk around looking like nothing bothers you or gets to you or like you have all the confidence in the world, that sometimes you doubt too. But, BELIEVE IN WHAT GOD SAYS! If He led you to it, it is HIS WILL and it will NEVER FAIL. Don’t compare yourself to others’ successes. God has a lane specifically designed for you. You just have to trust Him and be obedient to receive.
*Wednesdays w/ iNDIGO*

About boldandfab

Where Being A Witness Meets Chic Sophistication! Where Every Word Has Profound Meaning. It's all us...ALL REAL! B & F.
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23 Responses to RELAX. GOD IS IN CONTROL!

  1. Josie Martin says:

    Precious Divine Queen of God’s Heart! You carry His Radiant Glory! And you pleasing to Him! May God in your dark days, Remind you of what He spoke to you in the Light! Lotsa SONshine! If you CD available, I would like to buy!

  2. Lisa says:

    Wow Sis, talk about hitting the nail on the head. I thank God 4 U, I really do.

  3. Mrs. Muhammad says:

    Absolutely, on point…encouraging and awe-inspiring in such a time as this! Thanks for the blessing today and I am one of your #1 fans so I have long seen the handwriting on the wall, and am confident that you are not only blessed with talent but are a beautiful sister and you cup will soon overflow with the blessings that are stored up for you and yours!

    • iNDIGO says:

      Thanx Mrs Muhammed. Whats so nuts about self-doubt is that others generally believe in you more than you even believe in yourself. They can see God’s call even when you doubt it. That’s why doubt is so ridiculous!!! It’s just not cool in any way and I want everyone I know who has allowed it to keep them bound to let it go and PROGRESS to their designated station in life. Thanks for your continued support.

  4. theresa pink says:

    you have truly blessed me today. I think you are a true light for God. I am so grateful to know you. My heart and soul needed to read that cause i trip ever other day and I know that is not God. (when I grown up) i want to be just like you. 🙂 a blessing to the world. May God blessing overflow your life. thank you for sharing today.

  5. boldandfab says:

    Sis, I love that you presented here…not too many are in a space to pursue their talents. But there are those who pursue certain things outside of purpose…you are not one of them. You are chosen, and that being said, be not weary in well-doing! He is mounting you up to fly like an eagle…I am so blessed to see part of your journey.

    Your sis…Ify

    • iNDIGO says:

      Thanks Ify ::tear:: “He is mounting you up to fly like an eagle.” WOW sis. I am blessed to see your Bold and Fab journey also. Love u sis.

  6. Monisha S. Carter says:

    My Sister….What can I say?!?!? God is TRULY AMAZING & I read a proverb last night that will FOREVER stick to MY SOUL “We may ROLL the dice BUT GOD determines where they WILL FALL” Sis, you are a TRUE BLESSING so STAY ENCOURAGED because God has a PLAN designed JUST 4 YOU!!! I know how it feels to walk around ACTING as if nothing can faze ME(We have talked about that) however thru LIVING OUT LOUD 4 JESUS I have come to realize I have feeling 2 & INSECURITES that the world may NOT see(we chatted about that 2) So, I THANK YOU for reaching out to ppl & ENCOURAGING 2 TRUST God & REST on what He PROMISES us in His word & sharing YOUR WORLD;-) OH…..ONE last thing…..Sis, I BELIEVE in YOU b/c YOU believe in Christ!!! THE END;-) Smooches


  7. Tristan says:

    This has blessed me. I have done the sabotoge thing more times than not. Thank you for making it plane.

  8. Tinesha says:

    Wow Jocelyn!!!! God really used you to touch and encourage people in the Lord with this blog posting today. He used you even in your weakness to build up other’s for the kingdom!!! I’m extremely proud of you for not taking the easy way out when it presented itself and for allowing God to be the only “compass” that leads and directs your path!! Thank you for sending me this link, it really opened my eyes to something that I’ve been dealing with myself! I praise God for allowing our paths to cross and to be able to worship Him together in spirit and in truth. I love you sis and thanks for letting us ALL in to your world!! I know your testimony will help somebody stop “doubting” God. He has also used you to help them to see “doubt” coming so that they can “relax” and give it over to God before it becomes too much of a weight or stumbling block!! Keep being “Bold and Fabulous” I love it!!

    • iNDIGO says:

      Thanks for reading Tinesha. This blog was hard to write but once I was done I felt a weight lifting. So happy it ministered to you.

  9. Sherrell says:

    I REALLY needed to read this. I should frame it and put it on my bathroom wall to read every morning and every night. I have huge self-doubt ALOT! And I am finding out that so do many others who appear to have it all together. I just have to keep faith. You truly are an inspiration and good at what you do.

    • iNDIGO says:

      Hi Sherrell. I’m so overjoyed that you read this and were able to receive to a point of application. Thank you. I am praising God b/c this post is blessing a lot of people. Some left me inbox msgs on FB. Each of us in this walk have a struggle. Some people who appear to have no self-doubt, may not. Praise God for that too. Some of us have self-doubt regarding specific areas and others just have self doubt all around. As believers, we really have to pray for deliverance from this and forgiveness. We’ve got to want to change. We’ve got to BELIEVE GOD’S REPORT and ACT accordingly. He is worthy of us reaching our fullest potential. It’s all to His glory and a testimony to help another.

  10. Claire says:

    HALLELUJAH!!!! Just when I can think of nothing else to say but, “Praise God!!!” This is truly encouraging and inspirational!! Thank you so much!

    • iNDIGO says:

      Thank you my bold fab sister. Saying HALLELUJAH and Praise God really sums it up for me as well. I appreciate the love. Thank God!

  11. Mom Dukes says:

    WOW Indigo! Thanks for putting it out there for all to see and comprehend. Is anything too hard for God? Let me think about it… No! Love ya…

    • iNDIGO says:

      Love the “let me think about it” comment!! Amen Mom Dukes. Thank you for your unwaivering support. It is truly appreciated.

  12. addis says:

    i read this @ z right time .thank u & GOD bless, u reminded me of my GOD’s goodness.
    O, My GOD is gooooooooooooooood!

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