Y’all remember the old Whodini song, “Friends, how many of us have them? Friends!” Ok, I may be giving my age away just a tad! What about, “That’s What Friends Are For”? That was one of my favs. And let’s not forget, “Count On Me” from the Waiting To Exhale sountrack. Some of the most feel good songs ever made are about friendship. 
Over the past couple weeks, I have really been pondering on the subject of friendship. Last night, I kind of had an epiphany of sorts with regard to the topic and posted the following on my Facebook wall: One-sided friendships will eventually run their course. #suchislife
Since I began walking with Christ in 2006, He has gone on a reveal campaign in my life and that campaign has included my friendships. Some friendships God lead me to let go of. In the same token, He also lead me to embrace certain people who I would’ve otherwise not taken to. I let go of a few, held on to some, and nurtured a couple new ones. But here’s the kicker… I didn’t realize then, that process could become a recurring cleansing mechanism that He would require of me to continually go higher in Him. 
We often question God because what He has instructed, we are not willing to comply because of our flesh. Sometimes, we hold on just to be sure that we heard Him correctly!! With regard to friendships, a friend is your ally; one who cares, and regards you with affection. There also needs to be more than loyalty; there needs to be some form of reciprocation at some point. I don’t mean comparing notes, i.e. I babysit your kids twice a month and you haven’t babysat mine in years. I mean, everything is consistenly one-sided and only one person is consistently benefitting from the relationship. 
There are several instances of people in the Bible who maximized their potential by being friends (and/or associates) with others. 1) Jonathan and David loved one another as brothers. That type of bond is very important, especially when a person doesn’t have a biological sibling.
2) Paul traveled with Barnabas. They brought out the best in one another and balanced each other’s gifts. This bond is what I like to call my purpose partners. These friends are important b/c not only do they recognize and value each other’s gifts, but they love one another enough to do whatever they can to help maximize each others gifts.
3) Peter, James, and John left jobs, homes, family, and friends to follow Jesus. This bond is what I like to call my ryde or die homies! These friends are a constant encouragement of your Christian walk, even if they aren’t on the same path b/c of their love for you. 
4) The widow Ruth chose to live with her mother-in-law Naomi rather than return to her pagan land.  This bond is sacrificial. These are the friends who will leave their comfort zone in order to stand by you when they know you are on the right path. 
5) Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome were together when they discovered the joyous evidence of Christ’s resurrection. If you are sisters in the faith, together, being a witness about the truth creates a seriously strong bond. The Ladies of The Bold and The Fabulous fit well here. We are bonded by Christian experience. We have witnessed the truth of God and individually, we choose to share in a collective environment.
Once we reach a certain point in our lives…our maturity in general, but especially with regards to the body of Christ; we should each ask ourselves: Who would be a good person to associate with? Why? Do my current friends meet this criteria? Are they discouraging or encouraging. Are they helpful? Are they harsh or loving?  Do they embrace destruction & drama? Are they growing/progressing? Are they honest with you?
Hey… this is not my idea. It’s God’s! Proverbs 12:26 (NIV) states: The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.
So I will leave you with this:
Love God, your spouse, your children, your family, your friends, AND your enemies…YES I said enemies! Matthew 5:44 (NIV) states: But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. Don’t bail on your friends. Be there for them. But do not allow a friendship to keep you from giving God your all…emotionally, physically, spiritually, or mentally. Evaluate and then re-evaluate some more. When God speaks to you about your friends, LISTEN UP and obey! Even if you don’t understand, remember that God knows what He’s doing! 
*Wednesdays w/ iNDIGO*

About boldandfab

Where Being A Witness Meets Chic Sophistication! Where Every Word Has Profound Meaning. It's all us...ALL REAL! B & F.
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13 Responses to TRIED & TRUE

  1. Sherrell says:

    yes yes yes!!
    I have been struggling with this for a while. I have a couple of friends who are encouraging and are then in a christian aspect but on the other hand i feel the friendship is one sided ALOT and their are times when there is D-R-A-M-A. So I pray daily for God to guide me and direct me when it comes to those friendships. If they have run their course I’m ok with that.It’s tough to let go of the good part of them but it seems the bad often outweighs it.

    • iNDIGO says:

      Thank you for taking the time to comment Sherrell. This topic is actually more critical than a lot of us think it is. God references friendships SOOOO MANY TIMES in the Bible, I lost count. That means that it is important to Him that we entertain friendships that build up our walk. IF in fact you’re on a real Christian walk, that actually should be important to you. But even for non-Christians, it is STILL important to surround yourself w/ people who have your answer…not your problem. That is universal.

  2. Monisha S. Carter says:

    ;-)MY SISTER!!! #3,4, & 5 Fit my view *PERFECT* of MY less than a HANDFULL of Friends I have in my life….You KNOW how much I have STRUGGLED w/ making the decision to JUST let GO of SOME ppl who at ONE point I CONSIDERED “VERY CLOSE” to me. I MUST second that when God SPEAKS about LETTING GO…..LET GO!!!! & Continue to pray & Love in Jesus Name “FROM A DISTANCE” HOWEVER, ALWAYS REPRESENTING Christ in our WAYS toward them……I MUST say it has been SUCH a BREATH of FRESH AIR since I LET GO & I KNOW it’s b/c GOD SAID SO;-) Great Blog Sis!!!


  3. Tristan says:

    I needed this one at this time Indigo. Thank you for the scripture references too.

  4. Bianca says:

    So true… thanks for the post. Friendships are sacred and if we’re blessed to find one true friend!! Thank God for my true friends that made it through the years and also for the new ones that will last a lifetime! Great post!

  5. theresa pink says:

    thanks so much for sharing that. Ronald and I was just talking about friendships and letting people in our lifes that would help us in our walk with Christ. Letting go of negative people and loving from a distant.

  6. Mom Dukes says:

    Praise the Lord, Indigo! If we are in need of a role model to distinguish a healthy friendship from a toxic one, the Bible (as usual) offers this advice: “There are “friends” who pretend to be friends, but there is a Friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Prov. 18:24

  7. indigo says:

    Thank you John. Just seeing your comment. Sorry for the late reply.

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