“The Distorted Mirror”……

1Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

Definition of “Distorted”…”deformed: so badly formed or out of shape as to be ugly”. Ok, it’s time to KEEP IT REAL……LET’S GOOOO!!!!

In finishing out this semester I had an oral presentation to present in my Psychology class as a part of my final. I was given a “list” of disorders to present such as Bipolar, Personality Disorders, and the list went on. To say the least at the end of each classmates presentations I was VERY aware of why SOME people act the way they do at times. I chose Anorexia/Bulimia as my disorder and as I began to DIG deeper & deeper into the HEARTS of those that are suffering, I began to see myself in SOME of the characteristics of Anorexia. Ok, let me explain. With ANY disorder you must exhibit more than one characteristic of the disorder in order to be diagnosed with the disorder. Also, you MUST exhibit the characteristics over an CONTINUOUS PERIOD of time in order for it to be considered by a “therapist” as a “DISORDER”.

Definition…Anorexia: An eating disorder characterized by markedly reduced appetite or total aversion to food. Anorexia is a serious psychological disorder. It is a condition that goes well beyond out-of-control dieting. The person with anorexia, most often a girl or young woman, initially begins dieting to lose weight. Over time, the weight loss becomes a sign of mastery and control. The drive to become thinner is thought to be secondary to concerns about control and fears relating to one’s body. The individual continues the endless cycle of restrictive eating, often to a point close to starvation. This becomes an obsession and is similar to an addiction to a drug. Anorexia can be life-threatening. Those that don’t know I grew up being very athletic and I played basketball from age 9 “NON STOP” until the age of 17 (due to the birth of my son). Therefore, I was accustomed to ALWAYS having a body that was what “I CONSIDERED” to be “IN SHAPE/TIGHT”.

As some of you may know, I gave birth to twins (Boy & Girl) on 8/8/08 @ 8:08pm and and during that pregnancy I gained a TON of weight. During the pregnancy I would make jokes of my eating habits saying things like “I’m coming back from this” as a reason why I wasn’t OVER INDULGING in food during my pregnancy. After the twins were born (Boy weighing 6lbs 2oz Girl 5lbs 9oz….YUP JUST ABOUT 12lbs I CARRIED AROUND LIKE A CHAMP 🙂 lol ) the weight still remained for SOMETIME, actually longer than I imagined because I kept thinking, OK when my 1st son was born I looked back to “normal” almost RIGHT AFTER the birth; however, I SURELY wasn’t a teenager ANYMORE!!! I had a c-section with the twins; therefore, I had to wait to heal before working out. I began after 3 weeks doing crunches in my basement in addition I wrapped my stomach (I’ve BEEN wrapping for YEARS) in an attempt to hold it in tightening the muscles. I also ate a limited amount of food which mostly consisted of salads and fruits, I have always been a water drinker so LOTS & LOTS of water was taken in as well. My point is I was OBSESSED with my body weight and I’m sure some of you can relate to this. I have never been a big eater as far as eating the wrong things and have always been aware of weight gain on my body. Now, does that make me anorexic UMMMMMMMMMM NAH!! However, over the past year I have come to the conclusion that my body isn’t 17 anymore and that my body is going to change and as my sister Indigo CLEARLY defined “Moxie” over the past 3 weeks in her Wednesday blog, it’s NOTHING wrong with wanting to KEEP MYSELF LOOKING NICE/ON POINT; however, I’m NO LONGER obsessed with my “BODY WEIGHT” and realize that I may be a little thicker in areas and SO WHAT!!! God has made ME…..ME!!!!!! I took that body weight OBSESSION and placed it on other areas “IN” my BODY like my SPIRIT/FORGIVENESS/OVER LOOKING WRONG DOINGS/LOVING MY FAMILY & FRIENDS WHO HAVE MY BEST INTEREST @ HEART and the list goes on.

I took that BODY FOCUS and PLACED it in other areas of ME that I “KNEW” NEEDED TO BE FOCUSED ON!!!! I know today that some people really struggle with anorexia and after digging into that disorder I SERIOUSLY have been in prayer for the people who STRUGGLE with that AFFLICTION. However, I know that it’s someone reading this TODAY…YES I’m TALKING TO YOU; that has a STRUGGLE of their own about SOMETHING on their bodies ex. weight, hair, ears, eyes, feet, whether or not your pretty, height, and I’m sure I could keep going but you get the picture.

God created you to be “YOU”…..not ANYONE ELSE!!!! A lot of our struggles/anger come from “COMPARING” YES!!! I’m KEEPING IT REAL…..You may see someone and then look into YOUR “DISTORTED MIRROR” thinking there’s SOMETHING YOU ARE MISSING BECAUSE “GOD” GAVE IT TO THEM & NOT YOU!!!!! STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT!!!! Let them DO/BE THEM & YOU DO/BE YOU……. PLEASE!!!! It’s NOTHING wrong with wanting your body to look nice (MOXIE) but don’t obsess or do it in COMPARISON of someone else’s body.

Today, I 1st want to encourage the person who may TRULY be STRUGGLING with a disorder. I pray that you will CONNECT yourself to God for healing, PEACE, and JOY WITHIN. Then, I want to encourage those who are OBSESSING over their bodies and I pray that you will know YES it’s OK to look nice and I not discouraging weight loss or working out; however, OBSESSING is what I’m DISCOURAGING!


YOU KNOW what “YOU NEED”  to focus on and that’s between YOU & GOD!!!!!

So, TODAY get rid of “YOUR DISTORTED MIRROR” and replace it with being a MIRROR IMAGE of “THE GOD IN YOU”……I pray that this TRULY ENCOURAGES ONE TODAY!!!! Comment if you feel touched/compelled in Jesus name……I’m OUT!!! Smooches…….

Be Bold

Be NOT CONFORMED 2 the world’s image of YOU

Be Not OBSESSED w/ your body

Be In prayer for those that are STRUGGLING w/ Disorders

Be YOU!! ENOUGH SAID………………………

~Monisha Starr Carter~

About boldandfab

Where Being A Witness Meets Chic Sophistication! Where Every Word Has Profound Meaning. It's all us...ALL REAL! B & F.
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9 Responses to “The Distorted Mirror”……

  1. HANK LLOYD says:

    I understand you completely, I use to be small for almost 45 years, but as I got older I realized that God made me in his image, and that I am perfectly made threw him, and that I have tried to eat healthy, and drink plenty of water, but my body has changed as I got older, I try to maintain my best to stay healthy, and I will continue to do God’s work. LOVE DAD

  2. indigo says:

    1) I had NO IDEA you got that big while preggo. We didn’t know each other then. WOWZERS!! All I can say is, you have a WHOOOOLLE LOT to be proud of b/c looking at you now, you don’t look like you were even pregnant with 1!!!!! You look FAB. So, keep up the good work. 2) I have NO DOUBT that you will get an A+ on your paper/project! You broke it all the way down, BUT even better is that you compared the spiritual view of the physical. This blog is OUTTA HERE!!! Love it. 3) Lastly, I am super Godly proud of you. Just in the short time we have been friends, I have seen a change in you. It’s not easy to walk this walk, but you are truly striving. Love u.

  3. Erica says:

    Wow u r so right about our weight. And u look good!! .I just don’t know what to say.I had a baby October 16,2010 and I’m breast feeding so I’m trying to eat healthly .its not easy I don’t think about but I did came down some ..God is good all the time. I don’t have a eating disorder. I just try to eat good food

  4. boldandfab says:

    @ Dad I know you try to eat right but I’m sure you have “STOCK” in McDonald’s(Insider)…..I remember when you didn’t gain much weight; however, I get on you b/c I want you to be HEALTY so you can CONTINUE to see your Grands GROW!! I LOVE YOU just the way you are “MY DADDY”…Love u & Thanks 4 the CONTINUOUS SUPPORT w/ B&F & LIFE in GENERAL;-) Smooch….
    @”INDIGO” Yes, I was HUGE & crazy thing is I was ONLY 7months in that Pic(SMH) 2months 2 GOOOOO!!! ANYWHO, God is good & I pray that this blog TRULY MINISTERS 2 SOMEONE!!! b/c I KNOW ppl are STRUGGLING w/ the issue!!! Thanks for GIVING ME the KNOW I can COUNT ON YOU for WHATEVER support I NEED & Thanks 4 the compliment(Yes GOD IS CHANGING AS I “STAY” IN HIS WILL) SMOOOOOOOOOOCHES:) SDOT…
    @Erica, Thanks for the compliment…..Girl the weight will be gone in time. I tried to breast feed as well but NEVER got enough for both babies to remain FULL!! I never STARVED myself either; however, I was VERY PICKY with what I ate & THE TIMES I ate(never after 7pm). Keep me posted on your change(B/C it WILL HAPPEN) send me a b4 & after;-) Thanks 4 the support…..Smooch!!!

  5. boldandfab says:

    Love it! I’m always saying “DO YOU!” No one can do you better than YOU can. People would be a lot happier if they got a hold of that concept. ~ Bianca

  6. Katreice Reeder says:

    Amen. I was just telling myself this the other day ” that I was going to except me just the way God made me”. The more I get closer in God’s image the more I see me for me! I love this cuz!

  7. boldandfab says:

    Reblogged this on The BOLD & The FABULOUS and commented:

    HELLO HELLO HELLO “Friday with Monisha” readers 🙂
    As I sat viewing the speech from the BEAUTIFUL Lupita Nyong’o I thought WOOOW the feeling of INSECURITY is SO REAL and in the SAME BREATHE I PRAISED GOD she NOW sees thru her “Distorted Mirror”. I also felt what better ministry on “Third Friday Throwback” to share……Be ENCOURAGED, ENJOY & SHARE TO ENCOURAGE OTHERS!!
    Fridays w/ Monisha

  8. hank lloyd says:

    My sweetie your cup is about to run over with blessing, get ready

    Love DAD

    Have a blessed day!

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