Am I Smarter Than My Father?

When I was a little girl, I thought I could run faster than my father. After all, I’m younger. I thought I was smarter than my father. We always had the same dumb conversation. “What did you learn today, Celine? …About Jesus/Jehovah.” He never dug any deeper than that. As I got older we rarely had any meaningful interaction. I wanted to do things my own way – win or lose; pass or fail.  So when I left home, he sent me off with, “You’re grown. I did my best. Hopefully the world won’t chew you up and spit you out.”

So I went through life bitter and complaining about not being covered, not being protected, and not being emotionally supported by my dad.  I blamed my father’s failure to protect me for why I was being used and abused in my relationships.  “They think I don’t have a father.”  Well, who was running around acting like a fatherless child? ME.3-9-2014photo4

Then I started looking in the mirror. You see, I never thought I had the, I don’t need a man attitude, the Miss Independent spirit.  Then who I saw in the mirror, was a rude awakening.  My mirror said, ‘So you THINK you’re smart. Sure you KNOW some things.  You’ve always got your head in a book. You’re always learning STUFF, but what do you UNDERSTAND?’  You see, I read 2 Timothy 3:6-7Some of these men go into homes and mislead weak-minded women who are burdened with sins and led by all kinds of desires. These women are always studying but are never able to recognize the truth. (NLV)  Wow! That was SO NOT who I wanted to be.3-9-2014photo33-9-2014photo

Not only had I been acting like I didn’t need a man, by acting like I didn’t need my father… while blaming him for not being who I thought a father should be; I’d rationalized that my daughter didn’t need a father either, while crying inside as she longed for a relationship with hers. If that doesn’t look and sound like crazy! I had to look at my part in my relationship with my first love – the man God gave to cover me; my dad.

Over the years, I’ve come across people who know my dad.  They always speak highly of him as one of the few men they’ve met that they respect. So what did I miss? Did I ask questions? Did I listen to what he told me? Did I seek him for his perspective when I needed him? Did I appreciate what he could give me? After all, he’d seen some things, been some places, knew something about life.  I have to make peace with that, not only forgiving him for not covering me, but forgiving myself for not allowing him to.

My biological father may have sent me off with his blessing, but now I’ve been adopted. I won’t blow it this time. Romans 8:15 says, …The Spirit you have received adopts you and welcomes you into God’s own family. That’s why we call out to Him, “Abba! Father!” as we would address a loving daddy.” (The Voice)  So now that I have been adopted by my Heavenly Father, I’ll allow Him to cover me.  I’ll ask questions. I’ll listen. I’ll seek his advice and perspective when I have issues.  After all, He’s seen everything, He’s been everywhere; He knows it all.3-9-2014photo1

No! I’m not smarter than my father. So just like Job, I have not turned away from the words of His lips. I have stored up the words of His mouth. They are worth more to me than the food I need. Job 23:12 (NLV)

I share all this for those who are struggling to have healthy relationships.  Your story may not be the same as mine, but I encourage you to go back to your first love. Whatever that relationship looked like, examine it and make peace with their part and YOUR part in what happened. Ask God to help you see it through His eyes. Start to heal, so you can be healthy and whole for your current and future relationships. Father Knows Best!

3-9-2014-Celine *GUEST BLOGGER, Celine Parker*

About boldandfab

Where Being A Witness Meets Chic Sophistication! Where Every Word Has Profound Meaning. It's all us...ALL REAL! B & F.
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16 Responses to Am I Smarter Than My Father?

  1. Mrs B Carter says:

    Wooooooooow…..I tell you MY GOD MY GOD MY GOD!! This ministry was such a blessing in addition CONFIRMATION that THRU CHRIST I TOO HAVE BEEN HEADED and I praise Him for FORGIVENESS, NEW NOW’s, Grace, His word and FOR YOUR STORY…..MY STORY!! Today I ENCOURAGE YOU to JOIN ME in my CONTINUOUS journey of LEAVING IT ALL BEHIND & PRESSING FORWARD ON PURPOSE WITH A PURPOSE THRU CHRIST 😉
    Until next time (& I’ll be waiting on the NEXT MINISTRY) remain a BLESSING & BE BLESSED ♡♡

    • Mrs B Carter says:

      Silly Auto spell. …*I TOO HAVE BEEN HEALED*

      • Celine says:

        Yes, Sis! I accept your invitation. Moving forward on purpose, with a lighter load. Thanks to B&F for making my blog post shine (powerful images). To God be the Glory for the blessings received and shared. ❤

  2. I also struggled with the I don’t need man syndrome and felt shorted by my biological dad. Thank God for His covering and life teachings. Excellent blog!

    • Celine says:

      Thanks, Nikki! It’s a blessing in itself to know that I’m not alone. God truly is filling the voids in my life. I love Him so much. Thanks for reading and sharing. ❤

  3. Betty Wilkerson says:

    I have been told that hindsight is 20/20. When we are struggling for independence from parental guidance, we can only see the possibilities of what it would be like if we could have our way, free of the parents. As we live and experience being apart from parental guidance, we learn that parents aren’t so bad after all. Actually, they are really smart. This is experience, maturity and wisdom speaking now. As long as your parents are alive, regrets can be turned into forgiveness and unity. Amen? This was a great article. Reminds me of the story in the Bible about the son who wanted to experience the world. He came home after he learned that the love and support he had at home was not in the world. It is not easy to be transparent but I know that is how others begin the healing process. Keep writing these stories. Many will be blessed by them, including me. B. Wilkerson

  4. Wow!!, Celine thanks for sharing your story. I think most of us a young adults thought we knew better than our parents and wanted to do things our way. As we get older we realized that what our parents were trying to teach us was only for our own good. It’s never too late to ask for forgiveness and to open our eyes and see what God has put in front of us, our parents are there for a reason. God knows best so keep your eyes on him and he shall be with you through out all the days of your life good and bad. 🙂

    Stay Blessed,

  5. You did an awesome job Celine of spelling out what so many of us don’t recognize our first loves (parents) and the relationship with them branches out to others and our love lives. This definitely adds to my learning and dealing with my struggles with strained relationships with others. I am just going to keep asking our Father to help me see the light to be better, to make better decisions, and not relive my past EVERYDAY over and over again in my own mind !!! Thank You Celine !!!

    • Celine says:

      Kim! You get me. Glad you were able to discern the deeper connection in my writing. God bless you in your journey of forgiveness and healing. ❤

  6. Merian says:

    Celine, I’ve always known that you are special. I was aware of your struggle to find your footing and I have prayed for you to find your way to your purpose. I’m pleased and very proud of you. May God continue to bless you.

    • Celine says:

      Thanks so much, Merian. There were times when things happened and I just knew someone somewhere was praying for me. I appreciate your many years of motherly advice and support. God bless you too, always.

  7. boldandfab says:

    Reblogged this on The BOLD & The FABULOUS and commented:

    Happy Father’s Day Weekend everyone! Read for the first time, or re-read my article on my relationship with my father and the best Dad ever! …And as always – Comment, Share and Enjoy! ❤

  8. Jodi says:

    Celine – we go way back – right?? I am truly proud and awed by your butterfly emergence in who you are today! This blog is inspiring and encouraged me to go in and look at some residue. You are truly amazing – and oh what lessons you have in store for your daughter! Love you much!

    • boldandfab says:

      Hi Jodi! Sorry just responding. Thank you for your support. I’m continually digging deeper to heal and unpack old stuff. God is truly a healer and restorer. Praise God that others are being encouraged to do the same…May you be wrapped in His love always. Love you! C ❤

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