So yall know I’ve been talking about cutting my hair off for like the last 5 months, right? If you’re wondering why, I’m sorry to let you down by telling you that I don’t really have a good reason, except that I want something new. So here’s the thing: I feel like I’ve been stuck in a “gray space” in my life where I’m in a very uncomfortable transition from one season to the next. I feel super anxious not knowing exactly what lies ahead or even what to expect in the next season that God is bringing me into, and so my way of coping is to take matters into my own hands with what I CAN actually control, such as the length of my hair. Its very much like the scene in Waiting To Exhale (my all time fave movie, in which I’ve been dying to reference this for FOREVER and finally get to lol) where Bernie, played by Angela Bassett, learns that her husband of many years is leaving her for the side chick and as a result she goes into the beauty shop and has her best friend cut off all her beautiful hair. I would always wonder when watching that scene how someone could make such a brash decision in such a quick moment of pain without thinking twice? Haven’t we all been there before though? I think about all the times I’ve made poor decisions in the heat of the moment whether out of pain I’ve endured, fear of the unknown, or impatience with God. Anybody ever taken a job offer -in the moment- out of fear of not having something better? Just me? How about this one: ever chosen to be or stay with a partner out of impatience in waiting for God to send something greater? Brace yourself, the next one gets real: ever given yourself (mind, spirit, and likely BODY) to someone out of the pain that someone else caused? No need to be embarrassed, trust me WE’VE ALL BEEN THERE! So what’s my point? My point is that I know that I can be impulsive at times and for so long I’ve let that get the best of me in decision-making, when in fact God calls us to be the exact opposite. While I may be impatient with God’s timing, that is NO EXCUSE to try and do things MY WAY, whether that’s reacting by cutting my hair off or committing to a man just because I want a boyfriend. One of my favorite verses says “though the vision may tarry, wait on it.” (Habakkuk 2:3) Not sure who this is for, but I’m hopeful that as I type this on my phone during my train ride to DC, someone can see through the rambling and receive the intended message lol. Be still and let God work without making decisions and making moves that you had no guidance in, otherwise you just get in the way and prolong what God wants to bring you to (perhaps the very reason I’ve been in this gray space for so long).
Food for thought,