Wait…WHAT? Come again?!?!!

My blog today has a super simple theme. It is a theme we’ve all heard before and know full well, but for some reason, constantly need to be reminded of. It is the theme of the importance of communication and never assuming!!!
Today, I had lunch with a dear friend that I really haven’t spoken to in about two-years. Yes you read that right. I have dear friend and haven’t spoken to in about 2-years in the same sentence. Confused? Let me break it down.
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     You see, I met her at the church I gave my life to Christ in, back in 2006. She and I clicked from day one. We sung together on the choir at church… she sung with my Gospel singing group… we spent a lot of time together evangelizing… we hung out together… I spent time in her home with her family… we confided in one another about things and prayed for one another… the list can go on.
     In 2011, I started getting the itch to start visiting other churches. I wasn’t sure why at the time. All I know is my focus started to waiver in regards to paying attention to sermons and whatnot, and overall I felt that I had reached a ceiling in my spiritual growth at my church home. I didn’t like the feeling I had. I mean, this was my comfort zone. I had friends at this church that I considered family. I spent 5-years of my life there and God grew me so much in that time. But I kept feeling a tugging to explore other churches. I ignored it and left to work overseas for 3-months. When I returned, the feeling had intensified. I was still involved at my church, but felt so distracted. As in every church, there were a few here & there issues happening but nothing catastrophic in my opinion…nothing tangible per-se that was making me feel I wanted to leave that wasn’t able to be worked through. It was simply a tugging. Again, I ignored it and continued as a member of the church.

     A few months later, I left to go work overseas for another 3-months. This time, while I was gone, while I was trying to fall asleep in bed one night, I heard an audible voice speak to me, which told me to leave the church and gave me a reason (between God & I). I got up out of the bed and immediately e-mailed my Pastor…telling him that I could not return to the church and that I apologize but it was my season to move on. It was very difficult for me. My Pastor and I were so close and had no negativity or issues. He was/is an amazing man of God. But I had to obey what I believed was Holy Spirit. He gave me his blessing and we are still cool to this day.
     In my transition, a lot of people were left in the dark. I assumed that my Pastor filled everyone in because he had the information. But it wasn’t his responsibility to do so. It was mine! You see, when you have a pow-wow with God and move in obedience, you often times don’t explain it to people because you are so focused on obeying, you’re not looking at the human side of things. You walked away from a ministry you were active in for 5-years with no explanation to anyone but the Pastor? It’s hurtful…even if that wasn’t the intention.
     So, while I was on my quest for a new church home, I was feeling abandoned by my friend(s) because I felt when I left the church, I never really heard from any of them again. Were you only my friend because we were in fellowship at church? And while I was feeling that way, my friend(s) were like, you didn’t care enough about me/us to communicate what was going on so we could process the change that was about to take place. The way that you left “implied” you didn’t want to be friends anymore, but the love never left!! It all made sense.
     Lunch with my dear friend today was a profound moment in healing a wound I honestly had no clue was even open. We have missed out on 2-years of one another’s lives, accomplishments, trials, victories, and faith walks. We had so much to catch up on and praise God, we did. The enemy seeks to destroy in any way he can. It’s not always a fight involved or gossip or major drama. Sometimes, it is simply non-communication. If he can keep certain people apart…even if it’s talking by phone, it can change the impact on the Kingdom they may have had together.
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-Think about that the next time you don’t communicate fully with someone…even if you feel justified in your approach.
-Think about how many times you assumed something was going on and how off-base you discovered you actually were.
-Think about how many times you’ve said that God didn’t mean for you to be friends with someone, just so you can stay in your flesh.
-Think about how you would expect to be treated in a situation and act accordingly.
-Think about how many friendships you had in the past that you no longer do and think about why…I mean, REALLY THINK ABOUT IT!!! It may surprise you that it wasn’t as one-sided that you believed it was at the time.
-Think about how many times you really haven’t analyzed “your part” in a situation. Be honest with yourself. God knows anyway.
Today she and I picked up exactly where we left off. It was a wonderful time and I’m so thankful we had the opportunity to have a heart to heart because honestly, many people don’t have the chance to try again. Give God thanks for those who truly love you. Pray for all your friends & ex-friends too. Be encouraged…true friendships stand the test of time…even time you don’t realize you’re even friends. lol. It is what it is. Glory to God!

About boldandfab

Where Being A Witness Meets Chic Sophistication! Where Every Word Has Profound Meaning. It's all us...ALL REAL! B & F.
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17 Responses to Wait…WHAT? Come again?!?!!

  1. This is a great post that gives the reader a lot to think about.

    Keep up the good work, you’re a really good writer.

  2. Andy says:

    Well put loved this post. And glad you have reconnected with old friends in such a positive way.

  3. missify says:

    Much to gnaw on. Transparent and to the point. Thanks for this sis!

  4. Tameka says:

    Wow!!!! This is an excellent read.. And I’m so thankful to God that he allowed y’all to reconnect there was definitely something missing for awhile.. We love you like family.. We are family and I’m grateful for this. Love u sis

  5. Lisa Renee' says:

    Indi!! You really touched me. I’m going thru a similar situation. I honestly don’t know why my DEAR friend & I (from HIGH SCHOOL) don’t talk anymore. But I”m convinced there’s a 3rd party involved. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to reach out again. U definitely gave me some things to think about. God Bless.


    • Jocelyn "iNDIGO" Saunders says:

      Tears sis…Happy tears right now. God is soooooooo faithful!!!!! Praise God it blessed.

  6. boldandfab says:

    All SMILES over here….PRAISE GOD! Life is TOO short & MY GOD is TOO AWESOME to allow the enemy/OUR STUBBORNESS/FRESH RUN US….Now some situations are different however when it’s so up in the air with NO REAL FOUNDATION as to WHY THE SILENCE….We must be mature enough in Christ to BREAK THE SILENCE & at LEAST come to the table with everything. Sometimes you hug and just move on and other times you hug and NEVER LET GO AGAIN….HALLELUJAH MY TWO SISTERS! Love ya’ll💚💪👐

  7. Tinesha says:

    Wow…and Amen!!!! I pray God will use your words of wisdom to help give people something to consider to the point of change and to set them free :0)……Love truly can conquer all if we let it!!! Our lunch was way overdue and amazing!!!!! MUCH LOVE SIS!!!! “2 THE KING”!!!

    • Jocelyn "iNDIGO" Saunders says:

      Yes yes!!! To the King my sister. I’ll holla at you when I return from vacation. You left your shades in my car.

  8. Theresapink says:

    Thank you so much for sharing. I have been dealing with a silents from a dear friend from my past. It is time for me to reach out in love. I need to be fine with a hug and walk away or whatever God has for us. Communication is the key.

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