Just not feelin’ it


Remember how the LORD your God led you through the wilderness for these forty years, humbling you and testing you to prove your character, and to find out whether or not you would obey his commands. – Deuteronomy 8:2

When you don’t look like what you’ve been through you might be missing a chance to minister to someone or be ministered to. So today, if it will encourage someone else to keep showing up I’m going to let you in on some of my private pain and struggle. Today I declare – I’M TIRED!

I’m tired of showing up. Being the reliable person, the one who’s always there, you often get taken for granted…because well it is expected. You show up. You’re there. Most of my life I show up and hear, ‘Where’s So-and-So?’ I even have to ask my daughter sometimes, “What? I’m not enough?” I listened this week to a lesson on getting over disappointment. What was reviewed was the story of the Prodigal Son, but the person examined was the brother; the one who stayed home and did what he was supposed to do; the one who SHOWED UP. He was a bit salty. I could relate. What he missed was that despite a party being thrown celebrating the return of his wayward brother, he could’ve had a party every day because he was present and had access to all that his father possessed just by staying home.

“You want love the way you give love.” – Paula White

I’m tired of thinking. Ever had days that you wish you didn’t know all that you know so that you could throw caution to the wind? It looks so simple. Watching people go about their day-to-day life without a care gets me discouraged at times. Seeing their happy-go-lucky demeanor sparks feelings of envy within me. It makes me wish that I didn’t care sometimes. But then I remember that I do care, and why.

I’m tired of being the bigger person. “You think about others too much.” I can’t help it. In my household growing up our #1 memory verse was the Golden Rule. I always think, ‘I wouldn’t want anyone to do that to me,’ or to feel the pain that action would cause…So I won’t do it to them. This core value has cost me some selfish pleasures along the way. But then I remember that there are blessings attached to being selfless.

I’m tired of doing the right thing.


“When you feel exhausted, you’re doing something RIGHT.” – Shaun T

It is human nature and the spirit that permeates the air we breathe, at least in this country, to want EVERYTHING for ourselves and want it NOW. It sure would be easier to just do whatever I want to do in the moment… Or so it would seem. The choices we make have consequences. Is it really worth it?

So, as I admitted my frustration to my trusted friends this week, they prayed for me and those prayers were answered. I know this for certain because God showed up and started ministering to me through His Word and through my pastor who said yesterday during my church’s morning prayer call  –

“Don’t get held back from your destiny, sidetracked off of God’s will because you want what you want more than what God wants for you. Make the sacrifice of what you want to pursue what God wants.”

094840Have trusted friends who will pray for you because the act of telling one another our truth unleashes God’s healing power in our lives. Don’t get discouraged by what you don’t see in the natural, there’s supernatural power at your disposal if you just would trust God with your cares. Whatever you can’t handle, He can. Trust the benefits of staying home and sticking with God and His plan for your life.


So be encouraged to stand. If you can’t stand strong, He says, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” As I minister to you, I’m ministering to myself. I need this word today. ❤



About boldandfab

Where Being A Witness Meets Chic Sophistication! Where Every Word Has Profound Meaning. It's all us...ALL REAL! B & F.
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