Top Four Unintentional Spiritual Bullies

know_it_allListen.  The body of Christ has an unspoken caste system, one that leaves everyday people (who are just trying to make it to their car without being run over by an usher) constantly shaking their heads.  While the Word says that we all are candidates for wisdom, which is given freely from the Father himself, SOME folks act like their wisdom is encrusted in sapphire and rubies.  So while I want you to not take this so seriously and laugh a little, I also want you to evaluate if YOU are on America’s Most Wanted List…of Spiritual Bullies:

1) Married Folks + Iyanla Vanzant + Social Media = Nuptials on Steroids!

Oh, lawd!!! Where do I start?!  So first, let me say, as a single woman, I do believe I will eventually be married, and I welcome the partnership, mutual submission, and intimacy of married life.  Let me also say that I am very content in my singleness.  Please know that JESUS DIED FOR SINGLE SAINTS TOO!  Marriage grants you another level of insight into God’s love, but it does not make you a relationship guru overnight.  It also does not make you an expert on “how to run away from singleness,” (because the assumption is we have to get out of this hell on earth place where we sleep in our own queen sized bed…eat cake by ourselves…wake up with morning breath and don’t care…why do I wanna get married again?)  Heck, half of the people that be posting stuff…if we REALLY knew what was going on behind closed doors (._. ), it may look more like this:


What I appreciate are the posts about the realness of marriage; the ups/downs/ struggles….as well as the triumphs, revelations, and amazingness.  While it may be coming from a great place, if you are spending everyday, yelling from social media about “why you ain’t never gonna find a man if you do xyz,” and how virtuous you wanna believe you were before you got married…please know that you’ve probably already been…unfollowed.


2) People who rep they church like it’s a football team.

I get it! I get it! Your church serves the best wafers during communion.  The usher board has the dopest two step during offering.  And the spit that flies out the preacher’s lips…is anointed.  But let me suggest we all take a moment to read 1 Corinthians 1:10 and 1 Corinthians 12:25.  While this is not a conversation about denominations and whether we already are too divided as a church, I offer an alternate method: brag in love. And I don’t mean “I love my church because…THEY ARE SO DOPE!” No.  I mean showcase the acts of love exhibited by your church to others…and also the love that ordinary, and perhaps non-church going people, express to your church.  The ONLY thing we are commanded to brag about, is love.  Let’s love a little more than our own personal temple, and show more of the universal love that exists in the world.

3) The person that damn near be preaching WITH the pastor every Sunday, like they wrote the sermon.

Dude, like for real, shut up.  And that may be why it looks like you get the same holy spirit shout every Sunday; because you so busy trying to act ordained (just go to seminary school already and stop talking in my ear), beat the preacher to his punch lines, shout before the choir, and give sideeye stares to people you THINK the pastor is talking about.  Like that crazy lady, Ms. Sophie, on “Women on Brewster Place.”

I don’t rate people’s spirituality, because I know that is a very personal thing.  That said, I do believe that God is a God of order.  Which means on Sunday, there are just a a few people that should be talking to me while I’m at church.  And more than likely, you are not one of them.  Take many seats…or at least another seat not near me.

4) Yall MDiv Cats.

Part of the reason why I have constantly turned down the notion that I should go to seminary is because I have witnessed too many know it alls emerge from the process.  You can’t even bless your food without being questioned whether you are praying to a God under the theory boldandfabof Polycarp or John Milton.  Just like any form of information, knowledge is an empowering tool.  God wants us to be smarter.  He does not want us, however, to use our intelligence in a manner that completely pushes one out of the body or leads one to confusion instead of genuine curiosity.  The space God has provided to you is to help be a better light to others that may not have access to such insight.  It is definitely not for you to be head crusher of dreams and souls.  Save that for your dissertation.

It should be noted that almost none of my friends qualify in any of these groups.  I would also like to thank my mother and father, who raised me to be this way (so it’s their fault).  I’m gonna keep the helmet on for the rest of the day…but would lvoe to hear your thoughts.  Hope you chuckled a little, but know that we get much further and farther, by showing a little more grace than muscle.



About boldandfab

Where Being A Witness Meets Chic Sophistication! Where Every Word Has Profound Meaning. It's all us...ALL REAL! B & F.
This entry was posted in Thursdays with Ify and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Top Four Unintentional Spiritual Bullies

  1. J. Indigo Saunders says:

    I died at #3. Ok…as you were. #LOVEthis

  2. Beth Allen says:

    Very good post. Number 1 is also my greatest personal pet peeve right now. Maybe because I’m married and believe that it is the hardest thing I’ve ever done and probably will ever do. I also give a side eye to the newlywed, super sanctified saints who have all this marriage advice. Especially considering being married has daily triumphs and pitfulls. Like I don’t know if I’ve even had a consecutive week of loving my husband to the best of my abilities in our almost 2 years. #thankfulforgrace

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s