My husband and I made a final decision about a personal matter we had both been toiling about over the past year or so. I may open up about the details more in a future blog, but for now… not quite ready, so I digress. But sprinkle in the Ferguson/non-indictment news, add a blow-up/disagreement with my employer/band owner, stir in 12-year old Tamir Rice being killed by police, and top it off with seeing how mean people have become… how nasty-lipped even people you love have started treating one another just because one may disagree; it has definitely pulled my mood and social media frequency way down.
Let’s just say, blogging the past couple weeks, was not on my radar. BUT it’s my responsibility because I made a commitment to do so weekly. Thanks to those of you who have been holding me accountable…asking me when I’m posting again. I appreciate it A LOT!!!!
I told a friend at church on Sunday, “If I wasn’t an artist who needs the public’s support, I would no longer even have a FB page.” Social media was always a cool place for me…a happy place, where I could check in daily with friends, relatives, and even followers and get an encouraging word or see smiles. The one thing many people claim to hate about social media (everyone appearing happy all the time), is the one thing I liked most. Whether it’s an accurate depiction of reality was not my concern. I just liked the positive reinforcement the majority of people chose to share.
The last couple of weeks have really shown me the good, the bad, and the ugly of social media and the beauty of having an ‘unplugged mentality’ from it. By mentality, I mean that even if you physically post a status, you don’t have to surf further or even be engaged in social media. Some of us really need to consider fasting from it totally or at least consider having an unplugged mentality for a while.
There are ways to tell you may be overdue to get unplugged:
1) You reference Facebook, Twitter, etc. in unrelated real time conversations and can’t seem to have a discussion without referring to what someone on Twitter or in a Facebook group said about it.
2) You ‘ghost lurk’ (which means, you are constantly looking to see what others are posting about but never actually post statuses yourself.
3) You have been disciplined on your job for logging on or posting during work hours.
4) You start inappropriate interactions or entertain inappropriate relationships, that your spouse is unaware of.
5) You get upset by statuses others post. Being annoyed by someone on FB equates to being annoyed in the real world.
6) You check social media while at the movie/on dates…with your spouse or significant other. Like really? It can’t wait an hour and a half. Or wait…is your boo boring you?? lol.
Suggestions to help get unplugged:
1) Turn off notification alerts in your phone settings so that pops ups won’t appear, tempting you to check it.
2) Don’t get offended if someone says, “You are always on your phone.” Even if you disagree, take into consideration they likely have nothing to gain by saying that to you. It could possibly be true.
3) If your spouse isn’t feeling your frequency, no matter how irrational it may seem…Challenge yourself to make a conscious effort to pick up your phone less.
4) While in the car put the phone somewhere it will be hard to reach. If driving, it’s for your safety to keep you from texting and driving so easily. If you’re the passenger, it’s a way to actually have an undistracted dialogue with the driver.
5) Don’t check social media at all while at work, unless that’s actually part of your job.
6) Don’t make your spouse feel like they are second to social media. Even if they don’t actually SAY IT to you, pay attention to the signs, use your brain, and make the smart choice.
Remember, you have a full and abundant life without a Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram account. Please don’t misunderstand me. I am not saying to cease using it. I post regularly! This topic is just on my heart right now based on my last couple of weeks and I think others may be able to learn from it.
Every post of mine is not sunshine and butterflies.
We all have things going on in our lives…challenges, happy moments, sad moments, indifference. But if social media is amplifying the negative in you -or- if you’ve admittedly become a bit detached from your norm based on being engulfed or a bit too attached…it’s time to step off for a bit. You can actually still pray to God without posting a pic of your praying hands.
Let’s call people on the phone to hear their voices. Let’s tell people they look nice in person instead of waiting for them to post a picture of it to comment on (yes someone did that to me recently…I was like, huh? lol). Let’s get connected again…to our families and friends…to our husbands and wives…to our children… OFFLINE!!