Lately I’ve been hearing messages and having conversations about trusting God with my life. I’d have to admit that it is easier said than done. His way of doing things doesn’t always allow me to see how things will happen to get the desired outcome and I’m the type of person who wants details. We often say, “Jesus take the wheel,” but do we mean it? It has been hard for me to surrender control. At times I only do so once I’ve done all that I can, my own way. Once that hasn’t worked, I throw up my hands. It is human nature to want to be in control. Another way that I have often failed is when I try to help him out by doing things the way that I’ve always done them. Doing so is futile because it hasn’t worked for me thus far.
The past two years I’ve gone through the process of having my mind transformed by him. He has allowed me to see some ugly things about myself, confront some ugly things about my past and we’ve sat together and worked through all of it. With each situation, he poured his unconditional love on it and on me. I love him so much for that. Today I’m more relaxed, confident, joyful, and content. I am committed more than ever to my relationship with him. This doesn’t mean that I don’t make mistakes that disappoint him. It means that I’m mindful of what he thinks of me, want to do things to please him, and trust his judgment over my own. And as far as trust goes, I’m able to know that I’ll be okay no matter how he chooses to handle the things that concern me.
I must admit, doing things differently feels weird. Then I have to remind myself that I want to experience new and better things so although it may feel awkward at first, I can be patient with the process. It is the end result (the best result) that matters to me so I must stay the course.
Now I realize that when I place my human limits and perspective on how God operates in my life, I am missing out. It’s like those people who limit their experience of God by calling him by only one name. Recently, I learned that people in early biblical times named things based on their function so a thing didn’t exist if it didn’t have a name. Makes sense to me because I wear several different hats (titles) for myself and the people in my life – sister, cousin, mother, friend, employee, adviser, mentor, etc. Further, what God was called was based on that person’s experience of him. Once I learned the meanings of the different names God has been called in the scriptures my eyes were opened to the fact that if I desire to experience all of God, I should not limit my experience by creating a view of him based on how I view myself, or limiting myself to calling him by only one name. Also, I need to find out how he sees me and what he wants for me.
The benefits of growing in my trust in God are spilling over into other relationships. The more my love for God grows, the more my love grows for those whose lives I touch. I’m better at communicating and developing authentic relationships and experiences.
Life is truly a joy when I place Jesus in the center and stay in the center of God’s will. I am open to receiving the love God wants for me which includes setting me straight so that I can get it together. I now know from experience that when I veer off course, it’s not only because I’m depending on my limited and flawed point of view, but because I’ve got issues with trusting God fully in that area of my life. As they say, “when you know better, do better.”
Even though life has been quite uncomfortable when success would require that I place my trust in him, it’s also been pleasantly surprising when I have trusted him…well worth the risk. The more that I choose to place my trust in him, the more I see the beauty in doing just that and my trust grows; the more I trust him, I trust him more. ❤