WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

I saw something on Facebook yesterday that compelled my blog today. A single mother of a beautiful eleven-year-old girl posted a photo of her daughter with the caption: “My child is starting to look just like her dad. YUCK! I still love her to pieces tho.” I’m going to ask you to read that back a few more times because that’s exactly what I did when I saw it. Granted, this is a person who uses social media to vent about her ex and his ways on a regular basis (as well as other topics I would consider inappropriate for the public to be privy to, but that’s my opinion). Although I wasn’t surprised to see another post remarking of her disdain for this former man of her affection, I was floored to see her daughter’s looks be mentioned parallel her contempt for him.

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     I remember thinking, “My God…if this is what’s on Facebook, what the heck is this child hearing at home?” A rush to judgment you say? Perhaps you’re right, but I can’t do anything but be honest about my raw feelings in the moment. The comments began to roll in to the thread of her post…the majority of them, chastising her. “What were you thinking?” “I hope your daughter never reads this.” “How dare you.” The post clearly hit the same nerve with others that it hit in me.

     After several hours of the post first going up, I began to read the thread of comments, which had grown in number. Within, I saw her justifying her original post and stating, “I wasn’t implying that my daughter was ‘YUCK’. People need to learn to read between the lines and get the true meaning of people’s posts.” Oh wait…so now it’s my responsibility to decipher exactly what you meant in your head, even though it didn’t come out that way in words? Oh ok…my bad. lol. I posted a comment that simply said, “People are offended for a reason…it’s not to attack, it’s to call attention to. You’re educated and know how to word things to avoid mixed meanings. The truth hurts sometimes and isn’t always easy to receive but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s the truth.” She never replied to my response, or anyone’s after that. Hours later, I looked again and she deleted the post completely.

This blog has a few different layers, which I will address in three brief points:

1) I truly thank God for my mom. With all of her flaws, I can honestly say, she never bad mouthed my dad. Regardless of what they were going through in their divorce or how things looked in my kiddie eyes, she always made it a point to encourage me to honor him. Their failed marriage or how they felt about each other personally was not a reflection of me or my brother. I really wish more parents would take that same approach. Not only is it mature…it’s Godly. Your kids self-esteem should never be a casualty of your ego or ill-feelings towards their other parent. (sidenote: Honor is an inward attitude of esteem for the position of a person…not necessarily based upon whether or not they have earned respect.)

Look up: Ephesians 6:1-3 & Matthew 15:3-9

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2) Social networking is a way to open your life and feelings to the world…if you so choose. When you do, you must expect feedback from the world that you’re sharing with; even when you may not like what’s said in return. If you can’t handle it, social networking is probably not for you. Be aware that your actions (online, physical, & otherwise) affect other people…even if you don’t believe they have a right to an opinion because it’s not their business. When you open up your life, thoughts, and opinions to the public, the public has a right to voice their opinion regarding it. It essentially becomes everyone’s business.

Look up: 1Peter 2:23 & Proverbs 15:1-2

Lastly…

3) Never underestimate the power or accessibility of social networking. Your child (& others who you may be posting about, for that matter) may not be your personal “friend/follower” on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. but that doesn’t mean they can’t hear about what you post indirectly through others…you’ve heard of six degrees of separation, right? Be very careful regarding the types of messages you put out into the atmosphere. The same way the bible tells us to watch our tongues because in the tongue is the power of life and death…the same applies to these alternative forms of communication.

Look up: Proverbs 18:21 & James 3:1-18

That’s my piece for today.  God bless and keep you all.

*Wednesdays With INDIGO*

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About boldandfab

Where Being A Witness Meets Chic Sophistication! Where Every Word Has Profound Meaning. It's all us...ALL REAL! B & F.
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4 Responses to WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

  1. Denise says:

    Wow!!! This is why Facebook should use the term “associates” instead of “friends”. I saw this same post, commented on this same post and never thought at one moment that she was talking negative about her child or her ex. This blog is horrible on your part. I understand that it was your perception of the statement that lead you to post this blog but you know nothing about the source of your “inspiration”. It was a joke, a joke most commonly used amongst parents. For example ” when a child misbehaves in school, then he is YOUR CHILD but when he gets all A’s on a report card then he is “OUR or MY CHILD”. Give it a break. She is a great mother and maybe you should blog about recipes or something useful.

    • Jocelyn "iNDIGO" Saunders says:

      Hi Denise. I actually approved your comment in moderation to be seen by everyone (& I didn’t have to) b/c I want to address what you’ve said and show that I do RESPECT people’s opinions that are different than mine.
      1) I agree that it should be FB “associates”.
      2) Although you saw the same post and didn’t think she was speaking negatively of her child, others did and made it clear in how they commented.
      3) I actually agree w/ you that this blog is horrible on my part. In hindsight, it was in VERY POOR TASTE. I technically COULD/SHOULD HAVE just started the blog at the 3-steps I provided at the bottom and it would’ve relayed the same “lesson”. I make mistakes just like you and everyone else. But, I’m also not looking for people to like or agree w/ me as I write these blogs. I’m attempting to create a dialogue between others to grow in the Spirit…even if it forces me to do the same (like now).
      4) I agree that she’s a good mom. No where in the blog did I say that she wasn’t. We’re not personal friends but I know her, her family, & her child. My mom was a good mom too but Lord knows, she had some errors in judgment sometimes in regards to some things she may have said (even in jest) that could’ve negatively impacted me.
      5) Recipes are not my forte but I do blog about “useful” things week to week…there are hundreds of blogs I have written on this site under ‘Wednesdays With Indigo’ since 2010 that have nothing to do with this person & everything to do with other things. Feel free to read them or the countless other blogs by the other bloggers on the site. You were compelled to swing through based on something you didn’t like, but regardless…you came through. I’m grateful for that.
      Sidenote: Due to it’s brash, rude, crude, delivery due to my passion on the topic…my point may have been overlooked: We MUST be FULLY AWARE of what we post on these sites. Even when we are innocently posting things, our thoughts, our opinions, our quirks, our family, our friends, our purpose, our passions, etc. become PUBLIC for people to perceive HOWEVER THEY WANT. Lastly, when private info goes public…it is no longer private…it is no longer “my business”…it’s EVERYBODY’S BUSINESS!!!!!!!! I’m not referring to gossip/hearsay…I’m referring to information about YOURSELF that YOU PERSONALLY put into the universe. There are SO MANY PEOPLE exposing personal tidbits about themselves that they don’t think is a big deal but it’s still personal and now public info. If I put something on social media about myself, my friends, or my family…even as a joke, I shouldn’t get angry if someone posts an opinion about it that goes against how I feel about it. But again, my approach was WRONG and I thank you for your BOLDNESS & HONESTY in expressing your feelings about it. Blessings.

  2. boldandfab says:

    Briefly I will say…… PRAISE GOD for your MATURE/HUMBLE SPIRIT #Growth….In addition HALLELUJAH for THIS MINISTRY and I PRAY that WHOMEVER God intended to be ENCOURAGED to THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK…..RECEIVED HIS WHISPER 😉
    #StayEncouragedMySista #GodIsWorkingBold&Fabulously

    • Jocelyn "iNDIGO" Saunders says:

      Thanx so much sis. Love you. I thought about deleting it, but that’s the entire point of the post…which ministered to me as well. Once it’s out there…YOU CAN’T TAKE IT BACK regardless. This is the day & age of screen shots, etc. What you put out there into the universe…your personal thoughts or business, etc…people HAVE A RIGHT to have an opinion about it, speak on it, blog about it, and whatever else. You put it out there!!!! So, I can’t be mad at anyone for telling me off regarding this or even if someone chose to blog about me/this…it would be my cross to bear b/c MY ACTIONS got the ball rolling.
      As you said, PRAISE GOD for GROWTH. I ain’t perfect, but I’m striving DAILY just like the next. It is what it is!!!!

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